If I could rewrite the wedding vows I would add this: “I promise to carry your baggage all the days of my life.”
Everyone has baggage whether they like to believe it or not. Baggage comes in the form of your fiancee’s irrational fear, their student debt, or even their old back injury. This baggage sticks around for the rest of their life in some way or another. Having to pay off student debt means less money in your retirement account in the future. An old back injury can deter you from enjoying a bouncy house with your future kids. I don’t say this to make you afraid of marriage. I say this to make you completely aware of what your vows are saying.
My parents are celebrating their 45th wedding anniversary on May 1, 2019. They have survived the baggage of having to move to multiple locations for a job. They triumphed during the baggage of raising 7 kids, having a few miscarriages, and 1 baby that only lived for a few hours after birth. And now they are dealing with the inevitable baggage called aging. My mom is in her mid 60’s and my dad is in his early 70’s. They are very spry and are young at heart, but moving isn’t as easy as it once was. My parents however make it look like a breeze. It’s like a planned tango dance. This baggage now looks like my dad helping my mom in and out of the car with her high heels that she insists on still wearing. It’s my dad getting my mom a heating pad at night to help alleviate her upper back pain from previous car wrecks. It’s my mom baking my dad’s favorite dessert even though she doesn’t eat any of it. They do it all with ease. So even after 45 years of marriage, they are still loving each other’s baggage and all.
My husband and I recently visited my parents over Easter and I got to witness their tango dance first hand. It was nice to see their love flow over after all these years. It made me think about my baggage and how my husband deals with me on a daily basis. I’m a little stubborn, a little bit of a poor communicator and a whole lot of a neat freak. My husband however embraces me for who I am and carries my baggage on a daily basis and I thank him regularly for taking that load.
When you are planning your wedding and contemplating those oh so important vows, think about my parents still showing each other love after years and years of baggage and say to yourself, “I can’t wait to love all his baggage both new and old for the rest of my life.”
Happy planning!
Until next time...
Kaitlin Cashwell